It is currently the start of the 4th week of classes for the Fall 2015 semester, and, hey, guess what? I’m halfway done with my undergraduate years! Woohoo! I’m a junior now, and with that, comes quite a lot of responsibilities and expectations. And to be honest, sometimes things can get a little bit too intimidating, if you ask me.
I mean, here I am, trying to survive my junior year and all, and everyone around me are rushing to career fairs to secure an internship for next summer and everything.
I know. Getting an internship is kind of a big deal here, trust me on that. People expect you to get an internship, to get an experience, things like that.
But… I don’t know. Every time this time of the year comes around, I’d be left with this feeling that pushes me into an existential depression, as always. Like, I don’t know what I want to do in life, and that’s not a good sign. Well, not to me, at least.
It seems ironic though, on how I keep on telling people to ‘trust your heart‘, and chase your passion and all that shit. But, when it comes to me, I can’t do shit for myself, and I keep screwing things up.
It’s somewhat depressing.
And it sucks that because even when I think I know what I want to do and everything, I can’t seem to go ahead with it because it’s not what I’m expected do to, and because I know people feel like I should do better than that.
But the thing is, isn’t it my life?
Shouldn’t I be the one to decide what I want to do?
Like, f*** this shit man.
I’m tired of thinking what to do and what not to do and all that stuff. -.-
Can I just stay in my room, play xBox and watch Vampire Diaries / Scandal / GoT all day long? [p/s not ‘watch Netflix and chill’ okay, if you know what I mean]
I’m sorry. I rambled off quite a lot there. Sorry ’bout that. I’m just a bit stressed out and I’m tired of thinking and needed a place to ramble off.
Anyhow. Like I said, it’s my junior year. Two years to graduation, and two years to real life. I’m taking 4 core classes [Actuarial Science 650, Marketing 300, Finance 300 and Statistics 312]. I’m also in a 2-credit Curriculum & Instruction 675 class, which is a class for the year-long volunteering project I’m in for the next one year (more info on that later on in the semester). 14 credits ain’t a lot, but considering how my four core classes are pretty heavy with the exams and everything, I figured I’d stick with 14 credits as compared to 17 credits for now. (not to mention, I also work around 20 hours/week, which is the maximum I’m allowed to work, so yeah)
Okay then. I better be off for now. Need to rush to my 1:20pm Marketing class (it’s currently 1:00pm but the lecture’s pretty much full and the lecture hall gets filled up pretty quick). Until next time!