Daily30: Choosing what’s best for you.

Assalamualaikum,

In this huge, huge world, there are an abundant of opportunities for us to grab. There are millions of doors to be opened and endless amount of paths to walk on. And while there may be tons of things that appeal to you, or that there are multiple things that caught your attention, sometimes you have to know when to turn something down and choose what’s best for you.

I did something today that I was hoping dearly I didn’t have to do, but I knew that I have to make that decision sooner or later, and there was no point in delaying it. It has been in my mind for the past year and a half, and was one of the things that kept me going and gave me hope, but for now, I have to let it go. I couldn’t hold on to it much longer, because I know that I should be moving on and doing things that may be better for me, in so many different ways.

I have officially withdrew my offer/enrolment from the University of Rochester, New York.

It hurts a lot when I typed up that email and sent it to my would’ve-been adviser (along with two other people in Admissions/Student Services). They’ve been so helpful and friendly, and I’ve had a very insightful time when I went there for my graduate school interview in October 2016, but unfortunately, that dream couldn’t come true for now.

University of Rochester, Warner School of Education interview for Student Affairs

The program I was accepted at Warner School of Education was one of the few that I was highly interested in (when I was searching for grad schools in the US). The professors and people I met when I was there for my interview were friendly and kind, and there was something about being in Rochester that made me feel like, “okay, this is going to be my home for two years“. And, of course, the thought of returning to the US again is like a huge huge thing for me, because I so very much miss my life in the US.

However, some things pop up along the way, and suddenly that dream is no longer going to be a reality. At least, not in the near future. I may still be going for my Master’s, just to a different place / country and in a [slightly] different program. And I may still be looking at opportunities to return to the US in the distant future – if there are any, that is.

But for now, I have to keep looking forward. To the unknown, to whatever it is that is waiting for me in the future. Personally, as someone who likes to have control of her future and know what she’d be doing in the next 1-5 years, leaving things to happen on its own is a very, very painful thing for me. It hurts, and it’s a torture to wait and not being able to do anything, but I know that I need to have faith in what I’ve done and in God’s plans.

Until next time, stay awesome.

March 27, 2018
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